Gobble Gobble

I spent the Thanksgiving with my family, and it was fun! Which is sort of a major statement for the Clarkes. The holiday season is generally not good for us. Bad things happen during the holidays: people die, affairs are revealed, death threats are levied. But this year the most dramatic and disturbing thing that happened was my 7 year-old nephew whipped out his penis and shouted, "Isn't it huge?" (No, it wasn't.)

One of the reasons that the holiday was relatively stress free is that the Clarke-elders (our parents) are out of the picture. This is one of the benefits to the whole "my stepmother sued us and my Dad did nothing" scandal from the spring. We got to spend Thanksgiving alone. And it only cost us $265,000! I did get an email from my father’s other mail order bride in the Philippines (who is actually quite a lovely woman as far as I can tell, but she hasn’t sued me, so that’s something…) and she said ‘my father missed us.’ Which, I know from all my years of “Law and Order” watching is hearsay and inadmissible.